Choosing a guardian for your children: the Value Majority Test

Who finds it pleasant to think about their children being raised by someone else?  No one.  However, if you don’t tell the court who to appoint as guardian, then a judge you do not know, and who does not know your family, will decide for you.  Would your child prefer to have a stranger make that decision?  No.  This choice is yours to make.  Get paper, a pen, and try this approach.

  1. List everyone who is a possibility as guardian, even a remote possibility. This might include friends.  Single people.  People with no kids.  People with grown kids.  People who live far away.
  2. Next, take the Value Majority test. List five values that are most important to you, and choose candidates from your list who share at least three of these values with you.  This is my partial values list as an example to get you started:  parenting style;  attitude about education, work, money; faith, religion practices, beliefs; social values; attitude about closeness with family, friends.

 Now you should have a list of people who rank as good candidates.  You should choose at least three.  What if you have several people who meet the test and make good candidates, but you wish to shorten your list?  Here are some of my observations.  First, it can be disruptive to uproot children from everything that is familiar to them, so if Joe lives in your area but Jane lives across the country, choose Joe.  Second, a court might not approve a person you designate who has a history involving alcohol or drug addiction, or a criminal record, even if they do share three out of five of your values. Third, please do not name married couples.  Divorce happens to the seemingly best couples, and you do not want your child caught up in a custody battle.  If Mike and Carol Brady both share your values and made your list, choose one as guardian, the other as successor guardian.  Fourth, choose candidates who are likely to keep your children in touch with your family.

Trying this approach should result in at least a few guardian possibilities.  This issue is difficult to think about, but thinking about it is exactly what needs done.

Contact me at julie@juliemillslaw.com if you want to get started on a will to name your guardians.

Buying a house? Do your homework

Buyers engage in due diligence when purchasing commercial property, but is it necessary in residential transactions?  Do you need to do your homework beyond the information provided to you before buying a house?  Yes.

For most of us, our homes are our biggest asset.  Before purchasing the most valuable asset most of us will own, we should engage in thorough due diligence because broker forms do not provide enough protection, the forms tend to favor the seller, and because real estate problems can affect properties of all values.   In fact, buyers of lower-valued property (versus high-value investors) might not be as able to absorb unexpected costs or legal issues associated with the real estate problems.

Suggestions to include in your due diligence as a buyer:

  • Search for title issues such as liens and easements, survey to check for boundary lines and encroachments.
  • Ask if you are subject to a homeowners association and, if yes, read the bylaws. What are the restrictions?  Can you have a shed out back, a fence, an RV or boat parked in your driveway for more than 48 hours?  What is the annual fee?  Are you limited to two pets (common restriction)?  If you have a family member with a disability, be aware that some HOA restrictions might be subject to federal law, such as a HOA might have to permit a fence even if bylaws prohibit having one.
  • Talk to neighbors. Is there unwanted noise from local businesses, such as being able to hear cars in a restaurant drive-thru?  Are there train tracks nearby?  Do plows remove snow quickly or is the street the last to be plowed?  Do areas flood after a lot of rain?
  • Search crime and sexual predator statistics for the area. There have been a few occasions where buyers have moved in only to be surprised to learn that a neighbor has to register as a sex offender.
  • Know laws and ordinances about running a business from home.  Will your neighbor have clients coming and going from his home?  If a neighbor owns, for example, a plumbing business, can he park his vehicle fleet in his driveway and up and down the road?  Can she erect business signage in her front yard?  These issues with running a business from home might affect whether you feel safe allowing your children to play outside, and all could affect your property value.

A home is likely your largest asset.  Make sure you know exactly what you are getting.