I like this article by Lisa Lightner titled “6 ways to get your IEP school year off to a great start!” because it can translate to other life situations, including legal matters. Replace “IEP” (Individualized Education Program, a document developed for a school child needing special education) with dispute with a neighbor, or complaint with a company over a product or service to see that it has applications to many situations. It focuses on mindset, boundaries, rational approach, documentation, and outcome. Have a positive mindset–give people a reason to want to help you, not do everything they can to avoid you; know your boundaries in the matter and where you draw the line–some things are non-negotiable, so decide what they are and stick to them; act in a rational manner and leave emotions and pettiness at the door; keep thorough written records and documentation–negotiating from evidence in front of you is far more compelling; and keep your focus on the outcome, not the behavior of the people, so if you want a replacement product then focus on that, not how customer service did this or a manager said that. Here is the article from the special education blog “A Day in Our Shoes” :
- Use this as a chance for a fresh start. Regardless of what has happened in the past, resolve to let everyone start with a clean slate. I’m not saying forgive and forget, if you or your child has been horribly wronged, but give them a chance to do the right thing. Chances are that many of your IEP team members are new this year, so be positive. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, once. Remember, previous team members may have told your new team negative things as well, so dispel it! Be polite, courteous, and make them wonder why anyone would ever say that you are difficult to work with.
- Don’t be a drama mama. Not every situation requires that we amp up to 10 right away. Take a deep breath. Evaluate the situation. Is it a non-negotiable or significant safety issue? Stay level headed. I see a lot of words get tossed around in the Facebook group like “That’s a violation!” or “That’s illegal!” Ok, it may be, but there’s no need to be so dramatic all the time. Drama mamas yell “That’s an IEP violation!” while it may be more productive to say to yourself, “Ok, they are not following the IEP, and my child is not receiving XYZ. What can I do to help fix this?” If someone tries to engage you in petty behavior, don’t.
- Keep good records. Document, but only for yourself in the beginning. New school years can be hectic. Therapy sessions may be missed. Scheduling snafus will happen. Like I said above, give everyone the benefit of the doubt, once. Keep good records so that if things do not get on track within the first two weeks or so, you have the data.
- Review the IEP. Re-familiarize yourself with it, particularly if you haven’t looked at it in a while. What are your non-negotiables? Certain things like life threatening food allergies, insulin, elopers….some things cannot be skipped even one time. Make notes of what you want to keep a high priority and what needs to be changed.
- Be solution oriented. Don’t just approach your team with problems. Have a few solutions ready for them to implement.
- Use the IEP process. There are 5 portions of the IEP process that are particularly conducive to parent participation. Use them. Be fully engaged in the entire IEP process, and stay away from doing things that are not helpful or part of the process. Examples would be cc’ing people on emails who really do not need to be involved, ignoring chains of command and stuff like that.
- Stay child focused. When evaluating situations, stay away from what staff members did or didn’t do. Stay focused on what your child did or did not receive, that they need, per their IEP.
The IEP process certainly has its flaws, but it is the system that we’ve been given to use. Use it. You can use it to your advantage. Know your rights, read your procedural safeguards. Regardless of the history between you and your team, you can change it around. Focus on what you can control, and what is going to help your child.
Contact me at email@example.com with any IEP or special education questions.